cinco

The idea of "coming out" has always been a personal enigma.  I have always struggled with the coming out process because I have continuously felt that telling someone, "Hey, I'm pretty gay" and then having a serious conversation around my sexuality is often times more beneficial for them than it is me.  For me, the hesitancy to come out to everyone I know, is not bound within  fear of possible oppression and rejection from those I love, but rather furthering myself into oppression from the heteronormative society for which we all live in.  I guess what I mean by this is I don't ever want to be subject into a behavior forced upon me by the heteronormative groups to justify whether I'm in or out of the club; I don't ever want to be subject into a behavior that is not expected for heterosexuals as well.  I refuse be confined into a double standard action.   Like Sedgwick, I believe that the hetero/homo binary sexuality bit causes plenty of oppression to all persons because it forces people to choose a very rigid, this or that lifestyle.  A binary sexuality system creates a detrimental environment where one sexuality is deemed as normal and one the other.  This system also perpetuates a hetero/homo culture, in which someone can never be anything but these two things (and if they are, then they further need to marginalized, ridiculed, and oppressed).  Sedgwick argues for the deconstruction of these binaries, in which looser definitions around heterosexuality and homosexuality can be explored, sexuality in general can be explored.  As cliche as this may sound, I cannot agree more with this argument.  I truly believe that there needs to be a deconstruction of this binary and a creation of a different dialogue that allows individuals to be whatever they want to be, to be something outside of the box that society subjected them into.   And maybe coming out is a way to do this, to push against heteronormativity, to educate people that there is a strong LGBTQ community, that we are here, we exist.  However, I would like to believe that not coming out is also a way to push against heteronormativity-by not playing by their rules, by not choosing to be straight or gay or even declaring it, but by simply being me.  Coming out like Sedgwick said is a double bind and hopefully, I won't be damned by not choosing to do so.