Words and languages exist everywhere. Graffiti, chatting, classes, actions, bodies, books, words and languages exist to let you understand what is going on around you. Words act like a two-faced demon, it’s simplistic, but at the same time there may have different meaning into it, it may convey envy, hatred, happiness, jealousy, and discrimination. All these emotions and meanings are filtered, good or bad, by the constant happening of event throughout our lives.
Back when I was in primary school, my results are top of the class, I believed that by achieving the best result, will bring happiness and it can lessen the burden of my parents, and gain more time with them. My parents were always out to work, that they have to, in order to earn more money, in order to ensure our growth, in order to secure a good future for their son. I believed in their words, that by having a good result, I would be able to help them. So I did not hesitate, I did it.
Among the wide variety of emotions, discrimination arises from the simplest form of things, and once you can differentiate good from bad, then you can judge. Judging, in definition, is to evaluate a person or item through its nature, action and background, and to decide whether the judged is good or bad.
In every school, there will be good kids and bad kids, including my school. Back then, the lecturers were always telling us apart by our results, students that has good results and behavior, they will adore more, talk with more, neglecting the students with bad results in the process. I was scared, scared that I will be ripped away my prize that I have won, the warmth from the lecturers. So I did it, I scored.
What happens in the past stays in the past? A wise word from my parents whenever I make a mistake, told to make me feel better. To me, it is an excuse to run away from the pain, humiliation, and hatred. The past can never escape from you, even if you try to, you will face great dismay, it will always be with you, in your memory. Memory is a saving point. Anything that had happened, what you feel when it happened, it is all stored inside your head. Joy, childhood, sakura, peace, shame, guilt, anger, pain, you will be surprised what memory can do to you.
There were times when me and my family would have a great weekend; when I have gave my best but my results just decided to fail me; when my parents were so frustrated they vented their anger on their children; there were good times and bad times, and all of it are a part of the memory that I have stored in my brain, and those were memories that I will never forget, because those were the mold that shaped me who I am now, those are the reason that I move forward.
After reading Duncan, 'the history of disease', and Powell 'Listening to Ghost', I was interested by how they portray their ideas about how words and memory would affect people. In my opinion, both words and memory are an excuse, an excuse to avoid, and to move forward. You cannot run from the past, but you still have the future, to what you have to, but remember to look behind, look at the pain that are caused, and use that, as an excuse, to move ahead, to pull the distance between yourself and the past.
No comments:
Post a Comment